


Listen to my word

by NyxSolei



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Something (Music Video)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-05-14 23:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 11,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14779307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyxSolei/pseuds/NyxSolei
Summary: Yunho is hooked. He can't get the memory off his mind. He wants more, and he wants it now.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy and let me know your thoughts in the comments below! ^^  
> This is purely inspired by something ^^

The dice fall. A soft addition to the addictive sounds of the lounge. The scent of heavy smoke nullifies everyone's senses. His eyes lock on the table in front of him and a smile forms at the corners of his lips.

“Thank you.” He says, musing the words for the thousandth time. He’s handed the money and disgruntled voices rise from the fellow players around the table.

The man takes his place on the bar and orders a fine drink to taste the win. At the corner of his eye, he notices a man, who seems like he doesn't belong to this surrounding.

“I'm guessing it’s your first time.” He says to the other, lifting his glass, “Here, I mean.”

“You play really well, and luck was by your side.” The other says, “My name is Yunho.” He offers his hand.

“Changmin.” He answers, and gives it a shake.

Then, that's it. They spend the night together- laughing and chatting, sharing stories with one another. Yunho learns that Changmin works at a tobacco factory, and occasionally moves from place to place. He’s sent by the company to different cities, and will move again tomorrow.

 

They walk on the road and Changmin offers him a cigarette. He declines it, saying it's unhealthy. Changmin laughs, and it's the most alluring sound Yunho has ever heard.

“Where do you currently stay?” Yunho asks as they walk from streetlight to streetlight.

“At a hotel, it’s not really far.”

“I will walk you.” Yunho offers and receives a smile. It’s odd, but he feels drawn to the man each time he glances at his features- the round eyes, the full lips, and the quirky smile as if he knows something Yunho doesn't.

 

They stop beneath a small hotel and Changmin suddenly turns to him. Yunho feels flushed, although he has no reason to.

“You’re not married, right?” Changmin says quietly. They’re alone in the dark street.

“I haven't saw anyone in the last few years.” Yunho answers.

“Good.” Changmin smirks, and leans into a kiss. Yunho doesn't want to resist, because it’s refreshing and the odd sense around the man is calling out to him. He’s stunned, but not backing away. It lasts a few moments before Changmin pulls away.

“Goodnight, Jung Yunho.”

 

Yunho lies on his bed and lets the feeling sink in. It felt amazing, and natural. It shouldn't, because of the law, because he just met him, and because Changmin leaves tomorrow. But it is. His heart is at mismatch with his sense. He sits up in bed and reaches for a shirt. Yunho is going to regret this, but he has to find out- why? Why did that man kiss him, even though they will never see each other again.

 

As he heads for a taxi, he feels light. Physically, he feels his coat slightly lighter than before. His hand reaches for his pocket, but as he expects his wallet to be there - it’s gone.

His mind goes back to his actions beforehand and finds that while being at the lounge, he had it, but after Changmin… it’s gone. He grits teeth and starts running. He has to get to Changmin now.

 

“Oh, Yunho-ssi.” Changmin looks at him with round eyes. Yunho fights against the will to calm down and forget about the robbery.

“Give me my wallet back.” Yunho says, keeping quiet for the sake of others sleeping in the hotel.

“Why would I have your wallet?” The younger whispers innocently, then takes his hand and pulls him into the room, “Why did you come so late?” He grants Yunho a smile.

His judgement seems to become clouded, and sudden fatigue takes over.

“I had until you kissed me.” He manages to say, “So I need you to give it back, or I will report you to the police.”

“Yunho-ssi.” Changmin cups his cheek, and before he can flinch away,  _ something _ happens.

“I didn't take your wallet, I just wanted to kiss you.” He says, and the words ring gracefully through Yunho's mind. Lulling, alluring and comforting. He wants to give into those words, listen to them and believe them, but he knows they're lies. Even so, Yunho wants to believe them.

“Why did you kiss me?” His voice is heavy with fatigue. He can't recall the reason he’s so  _ damn _ tired.

“I thought it would feel nice. I liked talking to you, I still do.” He says sweetly, bringing Yunho to bed.

“You.. still took my wallet..” He huffs, eyes closing slowly. The last thing he sees are vibrant, yellow eyes and glowing tattoos.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy ^^  
> Don't worry too much, everything will get better.. sooner or later ^^  
> Please leave a comment! I enjoy those so much!

“Hey, wake up.” Yunho hears before something heavy is thrown at his chest, pushing away all air out. Startled, he snaps his eyes open and sits up.

“We need to go, so get up.” His vision still hazy, and breath uneven, he still can't recognize the voice. He yawns, and it adds some clarity to his mind. Changmin is looking at him, but instead of the charming and playful smile he had last night, he wears a cold expression of indifference.

“We?” Yunho asks, voice groggy.

“Yes, we. Get up, now.” Changmin answers in irritation, grabbing Yunho's hand and pulling him up onto his feet.

 

It’s only when they’re on the train somewhere else he starts asking questions.

“What happened last night?” Yunho disturbs the silence in the booth.

“You came back to me, which was a stupid and dangerous choice to do with someone who stole your wallet.”

“So you did steal it!” Yunho notes.

“Yes, of course, what other reason would I have to kiss a man? It’s illegal and I’ve known you for a day.” Changmin says, heaving a sigh.

“What happened next? How come I was in your bed?”

Yunho can see how Changmin shifts. His eyes are averting him now, and his fingers fold and unfold one on top of another occasionally. 

“We didn't..?” Yunho tries to help the other with words.

“No.” Changmin simply answers, “I will show you when we get to my next location.”

“Which is? Why am I going with you?”

“So many questions I can't bother to answer right now. Just sleep. Meditate, I don't know. Prepare yourself or something.” Changmin growls and lies back onto the seat, closing his eyes.

 

Busan is beautiful, but Yunho has no time to admire it. They move quickly and quietly from street to street, until they reach a small hotel. 

“Can you explain now?” Yunho asks, irritation evident. He’s tired, and very far from home, with no option to return. He listens to Changmin, because he has no other choice, but he feels puzzled and unsure.

“I stole your wallet last night. That’s what I do.” Changmin says in indifference, throwing his belongings on the floor, and heading straight to check the bathroom.

“Yes, I’m aware. What’s other than that?” Yunho folds his arms, as if scolding the younger.

“I do that for a living, Yunho, and since I had to use a bit more than just my charms yesterday, you’re lucky enough to join me.” He says, without looking at him.

“Wait, what?” The older asks, taking steps closer to the other, “What do you mean join? What do you mean more than just your charms?”

“I’m an enchanter, Yunho.” He finally looks at him, “I can do things others can't. Like this-” He curls his fingers and snaps them, as flower-like tattoos start to glow. A small flame emerges from the tips of his fingers.

 

Yunho punches him and runs.

 

_ Oh dear god _ , Yunho prays. He’s at the shore and the calming waves of the early evening settle his nerves.  _ This isn't real, right _ ? He desperately asks.

The man sits down onto the sand, taking in a large amount of cool breeze.

_ Oh my god _ , he cries in his heart. His hands are trembling and he wants nothing more than to believe this is a dream. Changmin isn't real, and he’s not in Busan. He’s home, in Gwangju, where tomorrow morning he will wake up to go for his boring work. He will work, instead of taking trains and escaping like a  _ damn _ criminal, and will go to his favourite bar, instead of a new hotel. Tears flow before he knows it. 

 

He wishes he would have never met Changmin.

 

“Yunho.” Changmin says, voice still calm as ever, “It’s time to go.” He places his hand over his shoulder, and Yunho doesn't ask how he knew where he is. He’s trapped with something unexplainable. He looks up to the younger, and the other lets go of him.

“I gave you some time to adjust, but this is my job and I’d really appreciate it if you would cooperate.” Changmin starts walking away, as if he knows that Yunho will follow. It’s true, Yunho does follow. He has nowhere else to go.

 

He’s trapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it! If you do, please comment ^^


	3. Three

“Enchanting, is like breathing, and controlling your emotions.” Changmin explains, opening a sweet scented bottle of some liquor.

“Power will react with my emotions, so I have to keep calm and composed at all times.” 

Yunho watches him, even though he wishes to be somewhere else. While Changmin is in possession of his belongings, and he knows he has that kind of power, Yunho will never be free. Changmin said it himself- they’re going to be partners now, and if Yunho will try anything funny, he will hunt him.

Yunho shivers. He hates this situation, and he hates Changmin even more.

“Anyone can get this kind of power, but you have to give up something in return.” Changmin says, and there's pain in his voice. Yunho wants to ask about it, he wants to know more, but fears the answer will be null.

 

“See the girl over there?” Changmin whispers before taking a sip from the liquor. Yunho notes this man indulges in drinking. His eyes follow the direction and scan the young lady in a short dress, sitting alone next to the bar. She's beautiful, and remarkably so.

“She's rich.” Changmin continues and he gives him in return a puzzled look.

“How do I know?” He asks, as if reading Yunho’s mind, “The drink she's holding, it’s one of the best drinks here, look at the shelf. Besides that, her dress in white, not semi-white, not darkened white, plain white. Someone has been taking care of her dress, and by the way her nails are, it can't be her. She has servants.” He says quietly, then tells him to follow. Reluctantly, he does so.

 

They end up chatting and enjoying themselves, with the girl. Yunho almost feels pleased- the soft buzz from the alcohol mixes well with the laughter and banter that goes on and on. Only when it gets closer to midnight Changmin offers the girl they would walk her home, and she agrees without thinking.

Yunho knows what’s next.

 

He’s in bed, but Changmin is still counting the money, silently muttering the numbers.

“Why do you make money if you're not buying anything with it? What’s the goal?” Yunho asks. The younger grants him a softened look and a smirk. He puts the money down and Yunho follows his actions with intent.

“I need to buy something back.” He replies, but the pain surfaces to his voice yet again.

“Is it what you gave up for this power?” 

Changmin laughs bitterly and stands up. He looks at the other pitifully.

“Go to sleep, Yunho.” He smiles, just like the night they met, “You’re a smart man, you’ll do fine in this kind of life.”

“I don't want it.” Yunho manages to input, only barely. He’s dazed by the honest smile. There's a warm feeling around his chest that heaves away the anxiety. He feels even somewhat safe.

“You have no choice.” The younger drops the smile, and walks away to take another chug of liquor.

 

Yunho is between sleep and consciousness, swinging from one end to another. Changmin's eyes are locked onto his figure. The warmth from earlier turns into heat, and the cool night provides the perfect contrast for it.

“You have no choice, Jung Yunho.” Changmin whispers. A familiar electric sensation runs through his veins.

 

“You’re mine now.”


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments ^^

_ He screams at the sky, embracing every raindrop meeting with his face. His clothes are damp and his hair is soaked, but he pays no attention to it. He runs, further and further, climbing over every step of the mountain. If he’s quick enough, he might succeed. He yells and shouts, and although his lungs are burning from the cold, he has the power to keep on voicing out his frustration. His legs collapse beneath him, so he starts climbing with only his hands as support.  _

_ “Bring her back!” He cries out, the small voice of a young boy piercing the thunderclaps around him. _

_ “I can do it.” A voice smirks. It’s light and cheerful, contrasting everything he feels at the moment. _

_ “I mean, I can give you the power to do it.” The voice muses, and he feels even more exhausted. _

_ “Give me.” The boy growls, moping away his hair, “Give me that power.” _

 

Changmin is drinking his third glass of Soju, yet he feels no better as it seems. Yunho scans him carefully and learns every gesture. The man seem to be in pain since the early morning when he woke up with a gasp and lulled Yunho back to sleep.

They’re moving today again, so he has no availability to think about it.

“Where are we going?” Yunho asks, packing the little belonging Changmin allows him to have.

“Daegu. It’s far, but at least no one will recognize us. We got some nice cash here, so it won't hurt to quit at the peak.” He answers, and pours another glass.

“That’s the fourth today.” The older notes, “Are you sure you want to drink that much?”

“I don't get drunk.” He simply says and takes off with his bag.

 

It’s quiet. He can't stand it. He looks to the sleeping man before him and says nothing. What could he say? Changmin is still a stranger, and a criminal. His eyes hover over to the strange tattoos on his hands. Yunho wonders how much of his body has been modified so. Silently and carefully, he lifts the sleeve to uncover even more paintings. Flowers and words. He recognizes the language as English, but can't bother to understand the meaning. Yunho gets closer to take another glance at it. Then, he moves to Changmin's neck. It’s mesmerizing, how beautifully it matches the man, but Yunho could never tell that. 

At the bottom of his neck, next to the collarbone, he notices a scar.

 

Daegu is a bustling city. It seems that even at night, people are still heading out and working. Various hotels catch Yunho’s eye and he happily tags along after Changmin. Soft jazz music reaches his ears and his heart flutters to the indulging sound. If he’s traveling against his will with no option to escape, he might as well find enjoyable things. 

 

The lounge is large, and the music cheers Yunho immediately. He asks for a drink and receives one quickly. The alcohol now rushing through his veins lift him instantaneously.

“There’s a woman there.” Changmin bursts his bubble.

“Can we not do it tonight?” Yunho asks in irritation. He was having fun, for the first time in a long while.

“No. Do you think I’m here to have fun? To hook up? If I wanted that I could just have you.”

Yunho looks at his with bewilderment, “Have?”

“That woman, I  _ need _ her money.” It’s no longer reasonless. Changmin is chasing after something that perhaps could have been important. If only Yunho knew more, perhaps he would have helped reluctantly.

 

That night, Yunho is drunk. He’s being lead by an overly aggressive Changmin who grunts throughout the whole way, telling the older how much of an asshole he is. Yunho can't figure out anything smart to say, so he rather giggles until they reach their room. He’s dropped onto the bed, and something is yelled at him. He can't figure out what it is, but it sounded angry.

“Changmin!” He squeaks cheerfully, as if the situation isn't absurd on its own.

The younger growls at him and starts taking off his socks, slowly and gradually undressing him.

“Changmin, you’re so mean!” Yunho shouts and battles him, “You never tell me anything!”

“Because you don't need to know anything.” He answers, and continues his work.

“I need to know when you’re in pain!” The older exclaims, “We’re stuck together now!”

Changmin seems to be taken aback by his words.

“You’re in a lot of pain!” Yunho says and sits up, “But you never tell anyone anything about it!”

“You..” Changmin starts, his eyes are blank yet filled with something similar to softness, “You don't need to know that.”

“Changmin-ah.” Yunho smiles, “You’ve been lonely for long enough.” He grins and takes the other's warm hand in his, caressing it.

 

“Go to sleep, Yunho.” He says after a while, motionless.

 

Yunho has no choice but to do so.

 

Only tonight, he has the younger's arms around him.


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments ^^ They really do make my day~

He’s exhausted. He leans back and allows his head to rest on the soft cushion. It has been a tough day, and there’s nothing he wants to do more than relax. His eyes gradually open, unveiling two doe orbs in seek of something. His lower lip is trapped between his teeth as he tugs on it carefully.

He counts his options and finds one he likes best. 

“What did you do before this?” Yunho asks timidly. 

“I was a child before this.” He answers without much interest in a conversation.

“Why did you do this?” 

Changmin slams his fists on the table, and rises to full height.

“I’m going out for a bit. Don't leave the cabin.” He angrily growls and leaves the small space.

Yunho is alone again.

 

He’s deep in thoughts. He thought he could get to Changmin gradually, but the man seems to continue blocking him, over and over. They have spent together a little bit more than two months, and the man who cut him off his ordinary life, continues being a stranger.

His eyes scan the road they're passing, and it's nothing he hasn't seen before. Yunho sighs and leans back again.

“I can help you.” A small voice penetrates the silence. He’s immediately on his feet and looks around.

“I can help you to get to him.” The voice continues and Yunho loses all colour from his face.

“Who are you?” Yunho asks no one.

“I like helping humans in need.” It answers.

“Then, you aren't one?” 

“Do you want me to help?” It avoids the question, “I can give you Shim Changmin in return for something.” The voice sounds cheerful and amused, which causes Yunho to shudder.

“What do you want? I’ve got nothing, Changmin took everything from me.” Yunho mumbles, still watching the unchanged room.

“Perhaps, but I do have something that I like in humans. Changmin did the exchange long ago, and look at him, he’s using his power as if it's a second nature.” The voice giggles, and Yunho can  _ see _ before him where Changmin is. He looks at the man and tries to call out, but his voice is mut. The younger is flirting with a girl, and before she knows it he whispers something to her ear as his eyes and tattoos give off a little glow. She immediately follows him into another cabin.

“See, human Jung Yunho?” It explains, “Even though he took you away from your life, and took away your belongings too, there's still something he hasn't taken.”

“Whatever you took from Changmin, he’s trying to buy it back.” Yunho speaks firmly for the first time.

“That’s fine, he will find very soon that I am not interested in those kind of materialistic items. If you want to give Changmin back what he traded for the powers, I can do that too.” It whispers, and chills run down Yunho’s body.

“And then, Jung Yunho, you will be back to your old life. I can even grant you your house, and some money if you’d like.”

 

Yunho hums, thinking. If he’d trade something of his own, for the sake of Changmin, he could go back. Stop running. Settle down, maybe even continue his life. Maybe he’d marry, have a couple of children, and then, lastly, grow old.

It’s what he wanted all along, no?

There's no use in hesitating.

 

“What do you want?” Yunho fires lowly.

“I need you to let me in your heart first.” The voice slowly materializes and Yunho sees in front of him a shining light.

“Reach for me.” The voice, suddenly much louder instructs. Yunho opens a timid hand and brings the strange light closer. It’s warm, and when it’s absorbed in his chest he feels no pain.

 

Suddenly, he wants to hurl. Intense sickness overtakes him, and he starts coughing. His hands start to burn and he can see spots of ink appearing over them.

The room is spinning. His head is light. He needs air.

When he feels like whatever made him sick finally left his body, he’s coughing out a small, heart-shaped flame. He can see the heart in it pumping and beating. The flame doesn't damage it, rather than engulfs it in a shield.

Then, it’s gone.

 

He loses consciousness and falls on the seat with a thud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're ready for a new chapter soon, it's going to be really fun from here on~


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy ^^

His eyes snap open and it’s hard to breathe. He grasps for the table, then for his hair. Just before his hands land there, he sees the tattoos. It wasn't a dream.

He places an anxious hand over his chest.

There’s no beating.

His eyes widen. The room starts taking a deformed form, wooden tiles are becoming black and ashen. His breathing hitches when the door is opened at once and Changmin slips through it.

“Calm down, you idiot! You’re going to destroy the whole train!” He shouts and grasps the older’s shoulders, forcing Yunho to look him straight in the eye.

“What’s happening?” Yunho cries out, his breathing still heavy.

“I told you, keep yourself calm!” Changmin nearly shouts.

Yunho takes a deep breath and keeps his eyes on the younger. Slowly and gradually, the room returns back to its original state and Changmin lets him go.

 

“What you’re trying to get back..” Yunho says, staring blankly at the window, “It knows you’re trying to get it, that thing doesn't want money.”

“That thing is a fallen star.” Changmin reveals,”They trick people in need in exchange for their hearts.” He says and finally looks to the other.

“I didn't know you were suffering so much.”

 

Yunho's eyes are nearly welling up. Changmin sounds almost… hurt. He averts the younger’s gaze and gives his best to keep himself calm. He didn't think how terrible would Changmin feel. He exchanged his own heart in order to get away from him, he did what Changmin is paying for his whole life.

“I’m sorry.” Yunho mutters.

“No, I am.” Changmin immediately intervenes, “I didn't realise it was hard for you to leave everything. I was.. selfish. Being alone so many years does that to you.”

Yunho is too bewildered to say anything at all. He’s feeling a strange warmth in his chest, similar to what he felt when he met Changmin for the first time. He stares at the man who spoke so sincerely just a second ago, something he hasn't done much in the last few months.

Changmin returns his gaze and his eyes are accepting a strange yellow hue.

“Yunho.” He nearly whispers, “Control your emotions, please.” Only then the older can see how much he’s restraining himself.

Yunho snaps out and the warmth is gone.

“Sorry, I-” He tries to explain but Changmin stands up again and leaves.

 

He must have felt Yunho’s attraction.

 

Changmin swallows hard and leans back against the cabin’s door. He almost lost to that intense warmth that surrounded him without mercy. It makes it a lot harder to keep his own at bay, now that Yunho made the same mistake he did. His emotions are destructive and dangerous.

Every path he made, entwined with it pain and misery. He destroyed so much and caused so much damage before he learned how to control the grief. This, one the other hand, is nothing alike what he experienced.

It’s an emotion he can't name. It’s want and lust, but much more softly. It’s apprehensiveness and worry, but purely out of wish for him to be happy. He has never met something alike.

 

It’s addicting, and he can't get it off his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments! I would like to know what you think will happen to Changminnie now~


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy ^^ finally some of Changmin's thoughts unveiled ~

Yunho is asleep when Changmin slips for the first time. He can sense the affection and lust gushing out of the man, calling out to him. Changmin is on the sofa, his arms wrapped around his legs, preventing him from answering the call.

There’s nothing he wants more- to get closer to Yunho, but he can't allow it. He made him suffer, and for once, it wasn't because of the destructive side of the power. His head rests on his knees, hopefully, it will tear his mind away from the sleeping man.

He notes the similarities between what he feels and what Yunho gives off, it’s almost identical. The only thing that differs them greatly, is Changmin's fear. The older doesn't know yet the extent of the newborn power, so he has no fear when it comes to emotions. Even so, this calling drives Changmin mad. It woke him up not long ago, and he immediately removed himself from the bed.

He takes a deep breath, and it’s as if every sense has attuned to the man. The scent the air carries is alluring and Changmin's self restrains falter. His eyes close slowly, allowing the sweetness to sink in. 

 

Then, he reacts.

 

Changmin climbs onto the bed and traps the sleeping one between his arms. His eyes are running through the man’s body, and he questions himself  _ how _ could he keep himself composed earlier. His eyes are getting the same hue and the tingling feeling that rummages through his bones when he uses his abilities is present. He calls for Yunho to wake up.

 

Yunho opens his eyes slowly, and somehow, even though it’s surprising to see the younger above him, the aura Changmin carries relaxes him to a new state. 

“Yunho.” He manages to say, the tips of their noses touching, lips only a few moments away.

“I don't want to control it.” The older confesses, “Please don't tell me to.”

“Then,” Changmin barely whispers, “I’m not holding back either.”

It’s nearly cathartic, the release of their restraints. A shockwave of unspoken feelings fills the space. Cravings that were kept hidden away are set free for the very first time.

Their lips meet each other, tasting what they wanted for so long. It’s sweet and bitter at the same time, but most of all, it’s alluring and addicting. They want more.

The world around them is swept away as they focus solemnly on each other. Electrifying tingling runs through their bodies and takes their breath away. They let go of each other to catch some air. 

“Yunho.” He breathes out, completely mesmerized by the warmth he feels for the very first time. He draws himself away, earning a discontent yelp from the other.

“I’m sorry, I can't-” Changmin says and everything he allowed to be free, is locked up again. He grabs his coat and heads out.

 

It’s scary.

He never felt anything like this, even when he slept with all those people, it wasn't even close to it. Changmin walks. Just walks without thinking. It makes him wonder when does the destructive part of this will make appearance. There’s always destruction along the use of his power, and doing something so emotional, is far too fearful for him.

Those painful memories are surfacing again, and there’s nothing he wants to do more than run away. After all, that’s what he had been doing his whole life. Changmin is a coward like that- every place he visits and inflicts damage, he takes no responsibility and runs away. Leaving from city to city, from partner to partner. The only one who stays is…

Yunho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think ^^


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - smut, slight pwp
> 
> Please enjoy ^^

If there’s anything Changmin misses at the moment, is the ability to become numb like most people are when intoxicated. He’s drinking up the sixth cup of Soju for tonight, and hopefully, not the last. He’s alone, and he's searching for something to fill up his overworking mind. His eyes are set on a man, could be his age or a little older. He has beautiful eyes and a captivating curve to his lips. His hair is tied back, light brown streaks carefully brushed away. He notices Changmin, and the look he offers is just enough to set Changmin's mind on him.

He gets closer and learns his name. Jaejoong asks him about the tattoos, and he blurts some excuse about it. The banter goes back and forth until Jaejoong finally offers a getaway.

 

Changmin is slammed against the wall, and willingly he gives in. There’s no tingling or electricity when their lips meet, and it relaxes him. His lips are hungry for the taste, no matter how filthy and lewd it is. He sucks out everything he can, while the other's arms are running down, reaching to his belt. The heat is alluring, and Changmin mewls into the kiss. Jaejoong undresses him, uncovering the rest of the hidden collection of tattoos. Stars, flowers, words- anything that the fallen star left on him. It surrounds Changmin's muscles in a perfect way, allowing each curve to be seen and admired, just like Jaejoong does at the moment. His eyes are scanning through everything, growing fonder of the view.

Changmin doesn't want to let him look. It isn't right. Not anymore. He knows who should be looking at him. He knows who should be the one in front of him. The one to pull him to bed, to set his warm hands over his body.

He’s on the bed, hands and knees supporting him. The hands on his chest feel alien, but the warmth is indescribable and the sensation sends him to a new place. He gives out a scream when he feels Jaejoong inside of him. He doesn't think. He doesn't allow the thoughts to fill him. He’s continuously slammed, and it’s painful to a new degree. He loves it. He needs the pain. He needs the release to let go of those bothersome emotions that are no good.

He can't help but think of the man waiting for him at the motel room, and he knows that due to his power Jaejoong feels the arousal. He’s scraped, bitten and tainted until the pain brings him to release. Even then, he can't think of anything else but the call, those tingling sensations and the electrifying feeling when they kissed.

 

Changmin is tired. Running away isn't easy. Being a coward and refusing to deal with the truth is something he used to be very good at, but that was before Yunho. Before the attraction started to grow. At the dead of night, he walks silently and heavily to the motel. The streets are empty, thankfully, since his situation could have brought disastrous results. He never felt this way, and he's too scared to think what the outcome could be. 

He wants Yunho, that much he can tell.

 

Then, he realises it. 

Yunho. 

He wants to protect Yunho. He doesn't want to hurt him, or to see him in pain. All those years, when he initially got his power, what he asked for is to protect.

 

This could be his chance.

 

Changmin runs.

 

This could be his chance to finish the contract.

 

By the time he reaches the room, sun starts showing its light beyond the horizon. Messing a little with the keys, he finally unlocks the door, rushing inside. Yunho doesn't need to be told what Changmin feels to understand. The older looks at him with a small smile.

 

He feels, for the very first time in his life, the blessed and distant feeling of **hope**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment below~


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, some slight violence. Please enjoy ^^

“You smell like someone else.” 

Those words are painful for him to hear, but he allows them to pass through. Changmin says nothing. Confusion is clouding his mind, and he fights the instinct to run. 

The wind slips through his fingers, as it gets colder around this time. Changmin tightens the belt around his coat and keeps walking. Yunho is next to him, carrying a bag.

It’s late, but Changmin decided it's time to leave.

“You smell like Soju.” The older notes again, slowing down his walk until lastly, he halts.

“I don't need you to tell me what you’ve done last night to know.” Yunho adds, and Changmin turns to him.

“We both want each other, you kissed me again, and just like last time, you disappeared.”

“I’m trying not to, Yunho.” He answers at last, face induced with pain, “It’s.. Not easy.” He mumbles.

“Why? I’m right here. I have nowhere to go besides being with you.” The older gives out a soft cry, “I can't leave you, nor do I want to.”

“Then help me.” Changmin nearly begs, “I need someone to tell me what to do, I need someone to teach me.”

“To teach you?” Yunho fumes, gasping the other’s hand and pulling him into the dark alley. The feeling of being slammed against a cold wall is far too familiar for Changmin. He grunts as he back meets the tiles.

“I am  _ angry _ , Changmin.” He growls, something he never did before. He pushes both of his arms to trap him, and from the power of the slam, some of the tiles break and deteriorate to dust. Yunho lets the pieces fall to their feet.

“You slept with someone else at the very moment you kissed me, and I tried to confess.” His fingers dig deeper into the tiles, more falls and Changmin takes a hesitant step back.

“You  **reek** of whoever you slept with.” His hands become fists and soon they find their place on the younger’s coat, pulling it and untying it. Just like the wall, the coat falls and scatters beneath them. Changmin shudders in fear.

“You let him mark you!” He barks. Yunho grasps the hem of his shirt, and at first, he makes no move. His dark eyes scan the frightened expression on the man before him, saying nothing. The blazing heat radiating off him is infused with anger, but also pain. Then, unexpectedly, Yunho  _ tears _ away Changmin's shirt.

He gives out a deep growl again, leaving Changmin's top naked in the cold.

“I gave out my heart for you!” He shouts, and before he’s aware of it, he’s shedding tears.

 

“I’m willing to give so much more..” Yunho barely whispers, too deep in his sobs.

 

Changmin is astounded. He makes a small move, bringing his hands to the other’s hips. His fingers make a stuttering circles around the sides. 

 

“I’m so sorry…” Changmin mutters, “I’m so sorry, Yunho…” He repeats, as if praying and begging.

Carefully, he bring the man to him, feeling as his anger calms down. It’s the first time he uses his power to soothe. 

“Forgive me.” He leans into the crook of his neck and Changmin inhales Yunho’s scent as if it is an expensive perfume.

 

“I have nothing but you, Changmin.” 

 

“Then I will make sure to fulfill every each of your needs.” The younger promises, and although his heart is still pounding from the fear, he finds some rest in the man’s honesty.

 

When Yunho speaks afterwards, Changmin is having a hard time to believe his words. Something shatters within him and a sense of domestic freedom fills his heart.

 

“I want you.”

 

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, it took Yunho only none chapters to say it out loud~ please comment and let me know your thoughts ^^


	10. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is ^^ a bit late than the usual~ sorry for that!

“I love you too.” He whispers, and he feels the restraints lifting. He’s shaking, both due to the cold night and the fear that has been creeping in slowly and surely. His tattoos start to glow and heat runs through his body. Yunho takes a hesitant step back.

“What’s happening? What are you doing?” Yunho cries out in question.

Changmin looks at his skin, the tingling returns. He feels every vein in his body, and throws himself onto the damaged wall.

“Changmin!” The older calls, unsure what to do.

It’s like fire, that spreads from his missing heart to every last cell of his body. It’s hot, liquid warmth oozing everywhere. His shuts his eyes and concentrates. 

 

For a second, he hears a heartbeat.

 

Changmin snaps his eyes open, taking in air as if he’s been underwater for far too long. His hand reaches for his chest. He feels it. Thump, thump, thump. Methodical and rhythmic sounds blooming from where it has been empty for as long as he can remember.

“My heart-” He gasps, still adjusting to the situation. His hands are trembling, but it doesn't feel as hot as before. It doesn't feel as lethal. 

“Your heart?” Yunho asks warily and steps in, “Are you in pain? Why are you shaking?” He keeps querying.

Changmin in reply, takes the older’s hand and places it where his hand used to be. Suddenly, everything calms down- the glow, the heat, the need for air. The mere touch with Yunho makes him feel…  _ alive _ .

Yunho's eyes widen and he stares at him in disbelief, “Your- your heart!” He stutters, but keeps his arm where it belongs.

“Yunho…” Changmin mumbles softly, “I’m- I’m free…” He sighs in content, and tears roll down his cheek. Everything he wanted, his whole life is right there. He found someone he loves, and allowed his feeling to come forth, even though he knew it's dangerous. His heart, what he has been seeking for, is back. 

“Does that mean..?” Yunho tries to grasp the situation. Changmin lifts his gaze to the other, and for the first time, gives out an innocent, happy smile.

“I'm  _ free _ , Yunho. The contract ended.” He whispers. Then, he reaches for the older’s neck and drapes his arms around it, “We did it.” He says in disbelief, “You did it, Yunho.” He bring his closer, and kiss with so much hidden emotions that now can be set free.

 

Spring strikes in without question, and the cold days are turning into an ambiguous mixture of weather. Staying by the sea, they learned to cope with the unknown outcome of the clouds, but as it seems- today, a good, comfortable day is present. The sky, dyed in never ending blue, give the perfect roof for a stroll by the shore. They have finished furnituring the new house just a few hours ago, and while Changmin wanted to stay in, Yunho asked him to join for a walk.

Tall grass to their feet, they make soft sounds as they go, hands joined. No one could say anything about their relationship in a such desolated place. It’s a two hour drive from Busan, where they go and buy whatever they can't find here.

 

“I'm happy here.” Changmin says as a matter of fact. He looks up to the sky and heaves a content sigh.

“I’m happy with you.” Yunho answers. Even though it’s true, and he is happy with Changmin, there's still something that bothers him.

“I know that you’re not telling me everything, I can still  _ feel _ your emotions. I don't need to remind you that those powers never went away.” Changmin laughs a little, and it’s the most addicting sound Yunho has ever heard.

“It’s just that, everything is great and all, and I love you, but..” Yunho trails off, stopping midwalk.

“I’m still in the contract. It still has my heart, and I want to be free too, like you.” He says, and it pains Changmin to hear those words.

“We will find a way. I promise you, I will do everything in my power to help you, just like you helped me.”

Yunho smiles softly, “There's nothing that guarantees that I will get it back,” His smile becomes sadder, “I asked for you to get your heart back, and yet, I’m here, still tied to that star.”

“Maybe that’s not all, maybe it’s not just about the heart.” Changmin sounds determined, “We will find a way. I promise, I won't give up until we will set you free.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment! I'm not sure yet how this is going to end, so please comment your thoughts~


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's something nice~ enjoy ^^

She gave her heart for him. She wasn't the most pure person, but the love she held for him was great, that much he could tell from the very moment he remembers himself. Wherever they ran, in every city they settled, she made sure Changmin won't miss anything. He was a quiet child, and very much connected to his mother, and she, well… She gave him everything. She always told him how the stars are his protectors, and that there's a special star just for him that watches over and takes care of him. If Changmin only knew what that meant back then, if he only knew how much she suffered, he would give it all for her. He was just a child when she started to become sick. Little by little, she lost parts of her humanity and became something that he no longer could recognize.

Then, the light took her. Small and agile beams grabbed her when she could no longer act and stand for herself. They told him that it’s time for her to expire. Her body can no longer live without a heart.

 

 

Changmin groans lazily and drapes his arms around the man next to him. Yunho is still asleep, and the soft sun that’s lighting up the room, illuminates his curly and messy locks of hair. His chest rises and falls rhythmically, and the sound of exhales and inhales finishes the whole stunning complexion before him. He looks at Yunho, content with the situation.

His long lashes are shut carefully over his cheeks, and the scar beneath his eye looks like it  _ belongs _ there.

Changmin is in love, that much he can tell. No one made him think those kind thoughts before, making him quit the run. He’s forever thankful for meeting Yunho.

He hears a soft moan and a yawn that follows right after. A smile is spread over his lips at an instant.

“Good morning.” Yunho grins. Changmin says nothing and rolls over to sit over the older.

“I want to go somewhere.” Changmin pouts childishly, “I miss the city.”

“Oh?” Yunho plays along, placing his hands over the other’s hips, “And which city would that be?”

Changmin lowers himself, placing his lips just a breath away from his. Then, he  _ grinds _ against his body. Yunho gives out a pleasured expression, which pleases Changmin.

When he starts kissing down the older's neck, he can feel how the warm hands around him are encouraging him to go on further. He never did this with Yunho, he didn't feel the need to.

“I want to go to Gwangju.” He whispers, just before he bites lightly on his ear, what earns him a throaty sound.

“We will go there,” He grinds once, “We will sit in that bar,” He grinds a second time, “I will take you on a date.” The third time he grinds, Yunho grabs his arms and turn them around, towering above him like a vulture looking at its prey. Changmin's arms are pinned down, and he looks at the other pleased.

“God, Changmin,” He exhales lowly, “Stop talking so dirty.” Yunho jokes, and hunts down the man's lips, yearning for a hungry kiss.

“Later.” He breaks it, taking in some fresh air, “Later Gwangju.” He says in between breaths, “Now, this.”

 

They don't leave the bed until the following day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment below!


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating for a while, I'm currently fighting a writing block ;;  
> Please enjoy! And leave a comment!

“You’re not from around here.” The woman smiles and takes the empty seat next to Changmin. Her hair is beautiful, organized into curled locks that shine under the electric lamps. Her smile is captivating and for a second, Changmin lost himself within it.

“No, I’m not.” He answers playfully, “But I’m guessing you are, and you’re bored from the men that come here every night.”

“You’re very perceptive.” She grants him another grin, “My name is Jessica. What are you doing here?” She picks up  _ his _ drink and presses it to her lips. She doesn't drink until he starts talking.

“I’m here with someone, but I think I can spare some time to listen to you.” His eyes shine, and he feels the surge of power flowing through. He sneaks a little glance to Yunho who has been sitting with a woman for the last half an hour. They promised each other when they came back to Gwangju not to do anything unfaithful as  it is hard already not to go back to their old lifestyle.

“I think you would find I’m a great companion to pass the time with.” She says. They chat, and Changmin finds nothing interesting about this woman. All he has in mind is the contract that Yunho is still trapped within. What has he asked for? Changmin tries his best to give him everything, to make sure that nothing is missing, but perhaps this is what's making the whole situation static.

 

“She looked pretty.” Yunho moans into the younger's ear. He purrs when he feels them rocking at the same rhythm. Hot sweat dripping down his nape and his arms are solid on the bed.

“You’re prettier.” Changmin huffs back, hands guiding the other to the right place. The feeling of skin meeting his own is ecstatic, and there's nothing he wants more at the moment than for it to continue forever.

He grunts heavily and inhales sharply when they’re done. His arms, secured around the latter are fiery and he feels the blood pumping in his veins. This feeling of being alive is something he can never get used to.

“I love you.” He says, nearly crying and nuzzling into the other's neck, “I’m so sorry.” Changmin continues, “I’m so sorry this has to be this way…”

“It’s not your fault, Changminnie.” Yunho calls softly, granting the younger a sweet nickname, “The contract is not your fault. I know what you feel, I feel it too, remember?” He smiles.

“Stupid stars…” Changmin's tears wet the other's skin, “I wish I’d never met them.”

Yunho continue to smile and says nothing.

 

He has been hiding the pain from Changmin for a while now. He’s far more tired. It gets harder and harder everyday to wake up, and it scares him. He’s scared so much that sometimes, when he’s really tired, he tends to prevent himself from sleeping at all. He can't show any of it to the younger, as it is burdensome. Yunho is great at hiding, but the fear is creeping in constantly and leaves him perplexed at all times.

This night is one of those frightening times that Yunho doesn't want to lay down. The pain inside his chest is too grand, and his eyes are heavy. His limbs are numb and occasionally, stop listening to his commands.

Yunho is scared.

 

He’s scared to death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're prepared for what's going to happen next. Prepare some tissues, and leave a comment below!


	13. Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you lovely readers for giving me inspiration~ here's the new chapter, I hope you're prepared for an emotional rollercoaster ^^

The lounge is relatively quiet. Soft jazz music blooms from within the instruments, lifting everyone from the strange downtime they’re in. 

Jessica is there, dressed in a rich, wine velvet dress. Changmin waves to her half heartedly, and as if by a command, she makes her way towards him.

“I can't recall your name.” She smiles, her probably signature flashy smile.

“That’s because I never told you my name.” He says, without much interest in the woman. His eyes are fixed on a darker figure at the end of the bar.

 

Yunho is sitting alone, heaving his fifth cup of beer. He hasn't started yet with the Soju, but Changmin knows that it’s in plan. His expression is so heavy, his heart clenches to the sight. He looks tired and rigid- dark circles decorating his eyes, along with redness that screams out the lack of sleep. 

Changmin doesn't know why Yunho is that way, or why doesn't he tell him what’s wrong. Either way, Changmin is on edge.

 

Yunho sighs and miserably asks for a bottle of Soju. His slim fingers toy with the empty glasses on the table, moving it from side to side. He knows he can't get drunk, but there has to be a way to make this easier. The pain is something he can deal with as long as he’s with Changmin, since he doesn't want him to be concerned about it. However, he’s aware of the behavioural change he’s facing. Yunho figured out that Changmin is sensitive enough and attuned to him enough in order to see through his mask. 

The heavy feeling is even greater when he thinks of it.

 

“He looks good.” Jessica comments, after sitting through the long silence from the man, “He’s probably even more handsome when he's not tired like that.” She giggles quietly.

“He is.” Changmin says confidently, even though it might give them away.

“I figured out what you two are when I saw your matching tattoos. It’s fine, I’m not really interested in turning people in.” She shrugs and flicks off her hair, “Why don't you go and talk to him?” She asks.

“He doesn't want me to, I can  _ feel _ it.” He explains, but it probably means nothing to someone who isn't familiar with their power.

“Sometimes what we feel and what we need is very different.” Jessica places her petite hand on the man’s shoulder and gives him an honest look, “I think he needs you more than the Soju he’s drinking.” With that, she gets up and finds herself a different prey.

 

“You shouldn't drink so much.” Is all Changmin manages to say when he sits next to the older.

“We don't get drunk, sadly.” Yunho murmurs, “I’m tired Changminnie, can we go home?” He asks in an innocent manner. Changmin can hear it. The suffering and the fatigue in his tone. 

 

Changmin closes the door behind the bedroom and sits down on the sofa. He closes his eyes, sighing. Very quickly, it gets brighter behind them.

His lips form a frown.

 

“His body is weak, human Shim Changmin.” The crystal voice chirps, “You do not want him to suffer, do you? You want him to live, you want him to be happy.”

Changmin grunts and looks away. He’s set on not falling for their tricks again.

“I can help you.” The star promises, as he’s being shoved away by Changmin's hand.

“Uninterested.” The man growls, resting his head back.

“Oh, but you are. I can  _ sense _ it. I can  _ smell _ it. I can  _ feel _ it. You love that human, and you would give your all for him.” The star whispers brightly, “I can offer you a deal where human Jung Yunho lives.”

 

Long silence lurks between the two.

 

“Talk.” Changmin orders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment below, I will try to update asap ^^


	14. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you took the advice and have some tissues nearby~  
> Please enjoy ^^

While drenched in sweat, it’s harder to shrug off the sleep. His consciousness battles the opaque darkness that clouds his mind. His ears are clogged and an underwater sensation surrounds him, engulfing in what seems as a never ending black sea.

He struggles to move his limbs- they’re heavy and resistant. Slowly, he finds his way and warm sun meets him at the surface.

 

Yunho wakes up wiping off sweat. His heart races, still, but he’s far less shaken. His eyes scan the room to find Changmin still sleeping near him. He sighs in relief and gets up.

 

What more could he be missing? He has returned to Gwangju, go Changmin's heart back- everything he requested. Cool water meet his skin and he takes in the feeling. He has to find a solution soon, as it gets tiring by the minute. Brushing his fingers through his hair, he looks at the mirror.

Yunho looks pale.

 

For the first time in his life, Yunho prays. He asks the stars to help him. All he wants is for the pain to end, and for Changmin to be happy. He can't think about anything else- not his life that he wished for earlier, not any power, nothing but for the suffering to end. He’s barely eating, barely walking, barely doing anything besides sitting for long hours by the window and looking at the streets of Gwangju.

He doesn't want Changmin to be worried, but the burden becomes far too great and he’s breaking under the pressure. Yunho used to eat, even if he’d feel even greater pain afterwards, but no more. 

 

Slowly, he’s deteriorating.

 

The night at Gwangju is something that he always adored. His trembling hands open the window just slightly- to the extent of his power. He takes in the warm air, breathing low. His eyes shut automatically and he allows his senses to be guided by the outside world. He hears distant chatter along with sweet music that he used to adore so much. 

He recognizes the scent of blooming flowers, fragrance that always relaxed him at any situation. There’s a distant smell of tobacco and it all mixes together to a perfect graceful setting.

 

It’s slowly becoming cold, and he doesn't have the power to open his eyes anymore. He has no will to do so too. The pain, the screaming insides that cause his spirit to fall, everything is just too much. Yunho wants to be out there, not listening or smelling, he wants to be part of that scene. His clouded mind promises him that he just need to let go in order to be there.

 

Changmin carries a few bag full of groceries. His hands mess with the key until it finds its place at the door and with a soft lean of his leg, it opens. Softly and quietly he heads for the kitchen, placing his bags.

 

There’s a loud thud.

 

Something feels  _ incomplete _ to him. A feeling that filled his heart for so long escapes as if it was never there. He feels his chest clenches and his hand is immediately at the spot, digging in the place. He falls to his knees and only after an overwhelming couple of minutes he manages to drag himself to the living room.

 

His heart is broken at the sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not over yet, don't lose hope! Please leave a comment below ^^


	15. Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's what you have been waiting for ^^

It’s dark.

The silence makes the place seem bigger than it really is, but there’s a wind passing by the hollow space. His feet touch something that is warm, and suddenly, a trail of stardust lights up a path into the never ending horizon.

It’s cold, but at the same time the warmth from the path keeps him warm enough to be comfortable. His eyes scan the unseen end of this, and he decides to move forward.

 

Changmin grasps him tightly, hugging him the his chest. His eyes are tearful, a wetness that transfers to Yunho’s shirt and hair. He feels cold, and he makes no moves when Changmin reaches for him. He lets out a scream of agony, tightening the grip over the man. His heart aches, so much, he wants it to stop. He wants to believe that this isn't true.

 

Yunho looks at a platform, mainly made of that shining dust. He sighs, and registers that he hears himself very loudly.  _ Is this it? _ He asks the air, and expects to get no answer.

“It isn't.” He hears an unfamiliar female voice, “I’m sorry to startle you.” The voices says softly, and the sound echoes through. Yunho looks around and finds no one else but him.

“They want to take you, but I can't let that happen.” She answers the unsaid question, “I need you to stay alive and watch over Changmin.”

 

Changmin parts his lips to yell again, agony soaring through his vocals. He cries out Yunho's name over and over, feeling the deepest guilt he ever came across. His fingers comb the man’s hair, but he stays still. A piece of his heart is no longer there. The space that used to be occupied by Yunho, is taken away. This is all his fault, after all- he brought him into this path. He forced him to know, and by that forced him to take the deal.

“I’m so sorry…” He whispers, words uneven from whimpers and cries.

 

“I can't go back there and live in that pain.” Yunho says, “I want too, to be with Changmin, but not like that. This isn't a life, it’s torture.” He explains, his voice sounds clear in the dark.

“I promise, you will not have to endure it any longer.” The woman calmly replies, “Changmin declined the signing of another contract because he knew you’d be disappointed. When he did that, he allowed me to finally rest.”

“And you are?” Yunho keeps on looking for someone-anyone.

“I’m his mother.”

 

“Don't leave me…” Changmin murmurs, “I have no one…” He nuzzles into the cold neck, pulseless. He tracks the unheaving chest, and finds that Yunho is actually… gone.

“I’m so sorry…” He whispers, “But that won't bring you back, would it?” He cries and weeps until his eyes are red and swollen.

 

“Promise me to watch over him. He never knew love until you entered his life.” She explains, “This won't hurt, Yunho, but be there. Promise me, you’d be there.” She nearly begs.

“I-I promise.” He manages to say, bewildered.

 

The light flashes brightly, and he feels his body deteriorating into bits before every piece flies away and he disappears into a blinding white hue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment below~


	16. Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it takes me so much time to update ;; there's so much going on ;;  
> Please enjoy, I will try to update once in three days or so ^^

The world is silent. There are no birds, no regular chatter, nothing. The colours slip away, and everything becomes grey and ashen. Changmin is sitting at the window, putting out the second cigarette for this day. He fights the urge to hurl as the intoxicating feeling sets in. The smoke helps him to numb out the pain. 

He’s confident that if anyone were to come near him, the grief Changmin delivers through his powers would make him suffer greatly.

After all, Changmin is suffering too.

 

What is he supposed to do? 

 

Changmin closes the window and heads to the kitchen. He takes out two bottles of wine and in a large cup mixes them. He takes it in at once, and repeats a couple of times until he feels lighter. After he’s done, he throws a bottle to the ground, watching the pieces shatter eerily beneath him. When he steps on them, to get to Yunho, he feels no pain.

He leaves behind a trail of blood, leaking from his feet, but he pays no mind to it. There's only one thing he can focus.

 

What is he going to do now?

 

He looks at the unmoving man, expression dark. Of he only knew, how much Yunho suffers… If he only tried harder to help him. Maybe he would have been here. But no, Yunho is gone, and now- Changmin has no one.

Guilt washes through his veins, burning his insides. Why everyone around him is like that? Everyone that met a star and made a deal, just in order to protect Changmin, dies. His mother, who tried so hard to give him a good life, and now- his partner. His love. 

He’s gone.

 

Changmin kicks the coffee table, knocking off a vase and a few nearly-wilt flowers. He made them wilt. He made them rotten. They deserve it. What use are those flowers now? They were Yunho's favourite, and now he’s gone so he doesn't need them anymore.

 

Changmin is a mess by the third day. He’s out of cigarettes and wine, and the pain is creeping in again. He has to numb himself. He has to keep his feelings at bay, but the grief is too great.

The apartment is a mess. There’s splotches of dry blood everywhere and half of the chairs and tables are broken. Yunho would have been disappointed at him.

No, he shouldn't think about Yunho, it only hurts more. Yunho doesn't exist anymore. Yunho is gone. Yunho won't come back and now he has to deal with everything alone.

 

He’s sitting in the bathtub, opening and closing idly the cigarette box. His eyes are locked at a nonexistent point on the wall. There are dark marks beneath them, and they seem bloodshot.

 

By the end of the week he forces himself to go out and get more drinks and cigarettes. He leaves Yunho for the first time since he died. Last time he left him on his own, he found him this way, but if he leaves now, there can't be any worse than the current situation.

The whole trip takes around fifteen minutes. It’s raining heavily and he didn't take an umbrella, but even through his body is freezing- he doesn't care.

There’s nothing to care about anymore.

 

His limbs are trembling from the frost, and he struggles to find the key. When he finally finds it, as he takes the first step inside the room, he feels odd.

 

Like a wound that’s being treated and the pain is taken away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it, please leave a comment below ^^


	17. Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter ^^  
> Please enjoy!

Changmin never thought it would be this hard. He is happy, he’s grateful, but he’s also very, very, unprepared for this. 

As his hand opens the door, he feels two presences. One- which he’s familiar with and heaves a comforting aura. The second, bringing forth a wave of nostalgia, and something long lost.

His eyes widen in disbelief, and he drops the bags, listening to the sound of bottles shattering before him. He blinks a few times, making sure he’s in his right mind.

 

“Mother?” He asks, in a small voice, taking a step on the broken glass. He feels little, dependent almost. As if he never grew up, as if Changmin never became a man. He stares at the figures, colour escaping his face.

“Changmin… Look how you’ve grown.” The woman answers with a smile, soft and loving. She spreads her arms and braces him to come to her.

He takes a step back, “You're dead. And you-” He looks to the other, “You’ve been dead for a week!” 

Yunho looks as if he wants to say something, but can't.

Changmin ruffles his hair and turns around a few times, “I’m hallucinating.” He tells himself, but the feeling tells him differently.

 

“Changmin, look at me.” The lady says and walks towards him, “We don't have much time to spend. There's something I need you to do..”

 

Changmin falls on the sofa, holding his head between his hands. His eyes are averting the two. He never thought he would have to make such a choice. His heart is torn, and he feels puzzled.

There's nothing he wants more than to disappear. Forget. Believe it’s wrong.

 

_ “I need you to chose, Changmin.” She tells him.  _

_ “You can bring us back, giving up your power will set us free. But,” She pauses, “Only one of us.” _

_ Yunho looks at him longingly, he still doesn't speak. He looks pained, and Changmin wants to run to him, hug him, and tell him how much he loves him. _

_ “Yunho is very weak, he cannot talk without hurting himself in the process.” She explains, as if knowing what he wants to ask. _

_ “Bring us back, Changmin.” She calls softly, “Bring your mother back.” _

 

Yunho looks sad, pained and in grief. Changmin registers it as disappointment with him. The state of the place, and his own state have never been worse. Changmin eyes the man, looking for that spark of emotion he hid there beforehand.

 

“Changmin,” She whispers softly and sits next to him, “You need me, you need your mother.” She caresses his unorganized streaks of hair, “Look at your home, look at yourself. You need to be taken care of.”

All the time she speaks, Changmin keeps looking at his lover. It’s as if Yunho knows Changmin won't chose him. It’s as if Yunho is both disappointed and regretful.

Yunho walks to the kitchen, and scribes down something on a torn piece of paper, stained with wine.

He hands it to Changmin.

 

_ I’m sorry. I should have been better for you. _

 

He hands him another note.

 

_ You need someone to take care of you. To make you the man I know you are. _

 

As Yunho hands him the third note, Changmin is crying. His heart aches as he sees the words.

 

_ I’m not good enough for you. I love you. I’m sorry. _

 

Changmin jumps from the sofa and brings the man close to him, hugging his lover.

“You’re not--” Changmin says between choked tears, “You’re better-” He inhales the familiar scent, “You’re better than me. I don't deserve you, I never did.”

Yunho shakes his head and wipes out his tears, mouthing 'I love you’. He caresses his cheek softly.

 

Breaking him from the sweet moment, his mother stands up, “Changmin,” She says and takes her son’s hand, ”Please chose.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, the pain will be over soon... One way or another ^^  
> Changmin will make it through, I hope~  
> Please leave a comment ^^


	18. Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making you wait~  
> Here's the final chapter :)

“I need to let you go, in order to be better.” Changmin nearly whispers. His voice isn't strong enough, much like his pained mind.

“I need to let you go so I can live in the present, and leave the past behind me.” He says, arms trembling. His deceased partner holds him carefully, trembling on his own.

“I’m sorry, mother- I have to chose Yunho.”

 

He bursts into tears, shamefully looking away. He can't face her, not when he chose Yunho over her. The decision is far too complex to make, but Changmin understands that bringing back his mother will not aid him. He’s grateful for everything she has done for him, but now, it’s time to be independent. Independent together with someone he loves and treasures so dearly.

 

“My smart boy.” She speaks softly and brushes his hair lightly, “Let me take a final look at how you’ve become a man.” She cooes warmly, far too calm for the situation.

Changmin looks up timidly, breath broken by weeping gasps. It’s time to make amends with the past.

She smiles brightly, “I need you to listen to Yunho from now on,” She keeps holding her son’s grief filled face, “He’s a very caring man. He will take good care of you now.”

 

Then, as if made of sand, she vanishes into dust that flies across the room. It concentrates around a single spot and with a bright light, a form is created.

 

It’s a star.

 

“Goodbye, my smart boy.” Her voice chimes.

  
  


It’s chilly outside again, and at that time of the year, people tend to go into bars and lounges more and more. Gwangju is still relatively small, but people come and people go.

There’s sweet jazz music, binding everyone's hearts together. It’s freezing, but inside it’s warm and welcoming.

The dice falls, a small addition to the noises from within. The man exclaims in joy- it’s the first time he won without turning the table to his favor with unnatural actions. His smile flashes brightly towards the other contestants as he takes the bet money.

His hand passes through his hair and he exhales in content. It has been too long since he went out this way.

He eyes the man at the bar, and soon enough he joins him.

 

“Well done.” Changmin smiles, handing Yunho a glass of some liquor, “You might even one day beat me.”

Yunho laughs, “Don't be ridiculous, it’s impossible.”

“Yes,” Changmin chuckles, “Since when things that happen to us are possible?” He raises his glass and chugs it down to the last drop. The taste is refreshing, and somehow much sweeter than he remembers.

“There are still some things that cannot be changed.” Yunho answers, “Like this place, and us. We can't be changed.”

Changmin smiles softly. He knows the hidden meaning behind those words. His compassionate look filled with adoration and longing for something he almost lost not very long ago. His expression calls out to the other, and for once- there’s nothing more to it.

No power. No leaking emotions.

Yunho smiles just as happily seeing this.

 

As they step out to the street, Changmin glances up to the starry night.

 

He closes his eyes. Making a wish to a certain star.

 

“Thank you, for bringing him back.” He whispers, heart thumping in his chest loudly. The thudding is rhythmic and soothing, and someday he might get used to it.

 

“I love him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, there are more fics to come with these two ^^  
> Please leave a comment below~


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